How it’s like being a mom

Being a mom is not something I’ve prepared myself for in this lifetime. Although I would be the first to comment how wonderful children are, but will always the last to want to hold or play with them.

Growing up, I didn’t really have a good role model in the parenthood department. No doubt I am sure my parents did whatever they could and know to provide for me. But the fact of the matter is, I wasn’t happy as a child. And for someone who doesn’t have much good memories I would automatically think that I lack the capacity to make a child happy, let alone raising one.

Fact is, I never had the yearning to raise children, even though I was told by many that if I were to have children, I would be an awesome mom. Perhaps I was thought of as someone who is quite nurturing and a keen ear to listen.  

Looking back to the day my son was born, it has been 1 year and 9 months. I can honestly say that I really enjoy this journey. Although I had to forego my one year backpacking trip, lazing around doing a lot of nothing, going to the cinema every weekend and loosing heck lot of me-time. But this experience of motherhood is something that I wouldn’t trait for anything in this world!

So here’s my list of how it’s like being a mom.

I have to admit that I’ve sort of let myself go the day my son was born. I used to love dressing up, I cared about my weight and how I present myself to the world. But with the little one who is ever so demanding and a 9-6 job that has never taken a back seat, I followed the footsteps of the late Steve Job and Mark Zuckerberg’s work uniform. The blue jeans and black tee approach. While a minimise wardrobe saved me a lot of time to get ready for work, it also causes me to lose interest in my weight and appearance. Which also resulted in feeling a bit inferior when I am surrounded by so many beautiful people in the land of smiles (Thailand). 

I am quite an emotional person, who cry buckets watching soapie. But after becoming a mother, that feeling further intensifies. When I see the suffering of children shared on social media, I couldn’t help by cry. When I see children begging on the street, I would cry. When I see young children cleaning windscreen on the roads of Bangkok, I would cry. Somehow these incidents seems to triggers back to my son. Which I hope in a million years that he wouldn’t have to experience.

My father has instilled in me the importance of time management. For as long as I can remember, I am always early. Rain or shine, traffic or not, day or night, I make it a point to arrive before my appointment. To me, those who is always late does not have respect for themselves and others, period. With the arrival of my son, time management became even more crucial as my son has a routine that he follows everyday. From the time he wakes up for breakfast, walks in the garden, bath, nap, lunch, dinner and play time before he sleeps at night. And because of that, it helps me to become more productive at work. I goes in and leaves the office on time, and I had to ensure that all work are completed during office hours because bringing work home is not something that I would want to do. 

I’ve always believe in doing the right thing. My number 1 principle in life. Do whatever it takes to do the right thing. With my son in the picture, that became my guiding principle. I don’t just want to do the right thing because that’s what I should do. But I want to do the right thing because I want to be a good role model for my son. 

As I pen this down, I want to forever remember the moments that make motherhood so wonderful. The way my son look and smile at me when he wakes up from his sleep every morning, when he hold my hand with his little fingers, wanting me to accompany him everywhere he goes, when he greets me with his bear hug whenever he comes back from his walk and when I return from work. Not forgetting our special game when he would start running whenever I sing “Banana… in pyjamas….is…coming after Han!” knowing that I will catch him and tickle him crazy!

I will cherish these moments forever.

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