The number 40

I’ve never imagine how life would be at 40.

20s were full of dancing, parties and dating. 

30s were a journey of self discovery, backpacking and endless me-time.

40 is a number that I am not prepared for.  If my life could be a blank piece of paper then these would be what I want to put out to the world to be materialised.

I want fewer but better friends.  Though I am quite approachable, I am very bad with keeping in touch with friends. I seldom make any effort to stay in touch with them and the only time I know their birthday is through FB. Albeit I will show up for my friends when they need me. No excuse but that’s just how I operate…

Growing up, I only had a handful of friends. Simply because I am quite an introvert. I get tired when surrounded by people, which makes it a chore for me to join any outing with people because I deemed that as that requiring a lot of effort . Therefore, I was not able to keep any of friends from high school, college, and my work place. 

To date, I can even count the number of friends I have with my bare fingers. I don’t have a lot but I enough. And if I am able in my 40s, I would want to host more lunches, diners and get together in my home.

I want to start taking care of my well being. As I mentioned in this entry, I let myself go after had my first born especially on the appearance department. I have a huge ass muffin top which I am unable to shed after the pregnancy, I’m 10 kg overweight and not able to fit into any of my pre pregnancy clothes anymore. Now that my son is almost 2 years old, it’s about time I start focusing on myself and get my grove back. 

I want to start producing content on YouTube. Ever since I had my baby, YouTube has been my only source of entertainment. I watch YouTube every night, in my bed, after my son has gone to sleep. So it’s only natural for me to want to dab into this area. It’s not so much about wanting to earn YouTube monies, rather, I want to challenge myself to think creatively.  Putting up content that is creative, useful and positive.

I want to learn how to play the guitar and compose my own song.  Nobody knows this but I really love music. I never pursue it because I have never been confident about my singing ability. But there is always this voice at the back of my mind that never stop persuading me to do something musically. Maybe its the voice musical genes from my father’s side. I don’t know but I am about to find out soon.

I want to buy a house with a little garden for me to grow my own herbs and vegetable. Despite endless persuasion and loan offer from my parents, owning a property has always been a least priority to me. My rational was that I did not want to be tied down by a committed sum of money that I have to fork out every month, I wanted the freedom to go anywhere, live anyone I fancy. But now in my 40s, my priority has changed. I want to have my own place that I can call my own to raise my son. So yeah, I am gonna start looking for a property in Malaysia soon.

Much to look forward to. Here’s to a fabulous 40!

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