Maybe I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather, maybe its the pre-wedding jitters…my mood swing has gone yo-yo these few days.
Finally the date is set. After 2 months, we finally got all the documents needed to register our marriage at the local town hall next Friday. But it doesn’t end there, after the registration, we would still need to get the local document translated to English and certified by the consular in our respective embassy to legitimate our marriage in our respective country.
Isn’t it funny…when we were little gals, we have been fed with the idea of the perfect wedding, the perfect proposal, the perfect prince charming. When I look at what we have arrived at, it’s a complete opposite of what has been ingrained in my programming. We have a unplanned baby on the way, no marriage proposal, no beautiful diamond ring, no pre-wedding photography and no wedding banquet.
That little gal in me cried a little.
At this juncture in my life, I reflect on my life 2 years ago when all this begun. It had never crossed my mind that I would accept a stranger in my life, go into a relationship with him, relocate to Bangkok after 10 months, and an unplanned pregnancy 7 months after and now planning on marrying him.
Crazy as it seems, at the back of my head I sometimes can’t help but wonder what if he is not what he seems to be? What if he has skeleton in his closet?
It’s scary that sometimes the person closest to us would end up being someone whom we don’t know at all. How often have we heard of a husband of someone ended up being:
– a womanizer
– abusive husband and father
– a rapist
Maybe I am paranoid, maybe I’ve watched too many episodes of Dr. Phil. But we can’t discount the fact that no matter how well we think we know a person, there are bound to be something that doesn’t fall under our radar of awareness.
Anyway all that aside, I do have a lot that I can be grateful for. After numerous heartache in search for the ‘one’, the one that came unannounced knocking at my door end up being the one that completes my soul in search for higher self learning. I wouldn’t say that life with him is a bed of roses all the time. We have our disagreement and we drive each other up the wall sometimes. But somehow I know that he is the one destined for me, for now.
It is our differences that gives me the opportunity to unlearn and relearn what I’ve allowed to be programmed in my life.
In him, I see a man that I can count on not because of the long term meal tickets or material stuffs that he can provide but the fact that he never gives up no matter how many hurdles life throws at him.
In him, I see a good soul who is true to himself.
In him, I see creativity and continuous learning.
And most importantly, in him I see a good father for little Jorgito,
So no matter what the social standards and what other fairy tales might tell me, it’s now just me, him and our little Jorgito.
And that is actually…enough.